


Sleepless

by The_Clamp



Category: A.C.E (Beat Interactive Band)
Genre: Boys Kissing, Feelings, First Gay Kiss, M/M, Nightmares, Sharing a Bed, Sleep Paralysis, Sweet, They’re in love but figuring it out, intimate, soft
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-11
Updated: 2020-02-11
Packaged: 2021-02-19 01:20:19
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,823
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22669594
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/The_Clamp/pseuds/The_Clamp
Summary: Junhee suffers from terrible episodes of sleep paralysis. Donghun is there to comfort him in any way he can. It leads to the stirring of feelings neither can define. But that’s ok, they don’t need to be defined to know they’re there.____Minutes of near silence passed. Just the sounds of soft breaths escaping into the air as Junhee felt his skin steadily heating up and head becoming pleasantly fuzzy.Then there was a different feeling. Not hands, but a soft, warm dampness ever so gently brushed over his shoulder, near the nape of his neck. Lips. Lips and a light puff of breath. On instinct, he let his head fall to the side, inviting the lips to travel further over his skin.
Relationships: Lee Donghun/Park Junhee | Jun
Comments: 17
Kudos: 163





	Sleepless

**Author's Note:**

> While writing a sleep paralysis scene for another fic I was reminded of Junhee saying he’ll send his sleep paralysis demons to choice!  
> Also I’m kinda working myself up to posting my first multi chapter in this fandom! :0 
> 
> Rated M because of the freaky nightmare descriptions and mildly mature themes just to be safe. 
> 
> **Warnings:** Just thought I should throw a little warning in here because I do describe an experience of sleep paralysis at the start and after that it’s all pretty sweet and pure.

**-—Junhee—-**

It’s hideous bulging eyes stared right at Junhee from where it sat on his chest. Disjointed jaw full of broken jagged shards of glass instead of teeth, snarling at him hungrily. Starving and desperate to bite and tare at his tender flesh, to cleave flesh from bone. The emaciated, almost-human form was hunched over and it’s blackened talons for nails threatened to grip at his throat. 

It felt so real. 

It always felt so fucking real when it was happening. It genuinely felt like his life was in danger.

This was the 8th night in a row this had happened. His sleep paralysis came in clusters, usually when he was stressed or sick. Sometimes without provocation. He’d go weeks without disturbed sleep and suddenly every night would be plagued by terror, leaving him exhausted and anxious. 

He couldn’t breathe. He was panicking, trying to will his body to move away, to escape. But not a single muscle would move. He couldn’t scream or cry, he couldn’t even close his eyes to look away. 

It felt like death. Like he was staring death in the face. This hideous thing was death and it was going to tare out his throat and he wouldn’t even be able to defend himself or scream for help. 

It was so heavy on his chest. Why was it always so heavy? He could feel his heart hammering at the inside of his ribcage and could hear his own pulse thundering in his ears. Is this what drowning in the bottom of a lake feels like? Trapped under the pressure of the crushing depths, unable to move. 

There were other ominous presences in the room, too. But he couldn’t see those, only feel them. Feel the threat and their ravenous hunger. Their intent to harm him. The crawling feeling of a thousand eyes watching him. 

Junhee could feel tears running down his cheeks and sweat rolling off his skin. His mind so desperately wanted to run or fight, filling his noncompliant body with adrenaline. 

He was forced to stare into the hideous face until he finally regained some control of his body. 

He turned his head to see a peacefully sleeping Donghun curled up in his own bed. 

Safety. 

Junhee flung himself out of bed, limbs sluggish and uncoordinated. It caused him to fall ungracefully on top of his sleeping group mate. 

Donghun jolted awake at the sudden scrambling weight landing on him. “Fuck, Junhee?” His voice a little rough from sleep. 

“S-Sorry.” Junhee practically squeaked between ragged breaths. He was soaking wet with sweat and trembling violently with fear. 

“Sleep paralysis?” Donghun asked, reaching up and pushing the wet hair up off Junhee’s forehead. 

Junhee just nodded in reply, afraid that if he spoke, only sobs would come out. He felt a little ashamed that it was so obvious. He had wanted to keep his affliction hidden from the others but that had gone out of the window pretty quickly. You can’t really hide such things when you share a room with somebody. 

Donghun’s hand moved to the sleeve of his nightshirt, tugging just a little at the uncomfortably damp fabric. “Take this off, you’re soaked.” He said softly. “You’ll get sick.”

Junhee tried to unbutton it himself, but his hands were shaking too much to navigate the small buttons. 

Donghun saw him struggling. “Let me help you, Junhee.” He carefully unbuttoned the pyjama shirt and peeled the soaked fabric off the blonde’s shivering body, tossing it onto the floor and pulling the blankets back to let him crawl under with him. “It’s ok. You know you’re safe.” Donghun’s voice was warm and gentle as his arms encircled around Junhee. 

Safe. 

Donghun was safety. 

“I’m scared.” He sniffled a little, pressing his face into the fabric of the older’s T-shirt and trying not to let himself cry. He already felt pathetic enough without bursting into tears like a goddamn child. What kind of man gets so scared by things which aren’t real? Things he knows aren’t real. 

“I know. But I’ve got you. Nothing is gonna hurt you because I won’t let it.”

Junhee took a few long deep breaths, trying to calm himself. Donghun smelled like flowery fabric softener and the grapefruit shower gel he used. Then, under all those artificial smells, there was the distinct scent of Donghun’s skin which Junhee wasn’t sure he was supposed to be able to recognise. Whether it was ok for him to do so or not, he found a sense of calm and comfort in it. 

As the minutes passed, Junhee’s trembling stopped and his breathing slowed. His focus shifting lazily from the scent he was breathing in and the feeling of Donghun’s one hand absently stroking through his hair and the other pressed flat against the bare skin at the small of his back. 

“You ok?” The older asked eventually. 

“I shouldn’t be so scared. It’s not real.” 

“It’s real enough at the time, though. Right? Look, I’m scared of moths. That’s pretty irrational, right? Everyone’s scared of things.”

“I guess…” Junhee remained curled up against him, selfishly unwilling to move.

“You’re having this a lot lately, huh?”

Junhee nodded. 

“Would it help if you slept here with me? That way you know that I’m here.” Donghun pressed what Junhee could have sworn was a small kiss on the top of his head.

Junhee’s heart might have stopped for a second or two. 

**-—Donghun—-**

The following night, Donghun was already laying in bed and scrolling through his phone when Junhee appeared in the room dressed in a set of blue pinstripe pyjamas and looking a little awkward. 

He looked cute in those pyjamas, with a barely-there pinkness to his cheeks. Donghun himself only wore a ratty old T-shirt and some boxers to sleep in. 

“Why are you looking so stiff? Come to bed.” Donghun scooted towards the wall to make as much room as possible in the small bed. 

“Are you sure this is ok?”

“Of course. Why wouldn’t it be?”

“I feel bad for taking pace up in your bed.” Junhee bit his lower lip a little. 

“It’s fine, now come on.”

Junhee hesitated for half a beat before climbing into bed with him. It was slightly awkward at first, neither really knowing how to orientate their bodies so it wouldn’t be awkward. At first they tried to lay so they weren’t touching, but that meant Junhee was at risk of falling out of bed and Donghun’s face was practically smashed against the wall. 

This wasn’t like them.

It wasn’t comfortable. And it was stupid, they’d cuddled the night before and they were both the type who are more than comfortable with physical contact. They touched a lot, actually. But for some reason, this felt strange. There was a slight tension in the air. 

They lay there silently for a few minutes before Donghun had enough and rolled over, wrapping his arms around Junhee and pulling the younger against him across the short distance separating them in the small bed. 

Junhee didn’t protest, only gasping a little in surprise at the sudden action. Their bodies slot together perfectly with Junhee’s back pressed against Donghun’s chest and abdomen. “That’s better.” Donghun said quietly, feeling the blonde relaxing into him. 

Sleep was never something Donghun generally struggled with, but he did find himself lingering awake a little longer than usual. There was the scent of coconut from the other’s freshly washed hair and the steady sound of him breathing to distract from sleep. There was a hint of guilt, though. Just under the surface. Guilt brought on by the need to pull Junhee impossibly close. To slip a leg over his thigh and just feel what it would be like of maybe... no. Those weren’t thoughts he should be having right now. He shouldn’t have those thoughts about Junhee at all.

The younger needed his help and comfort, not to be thought about in lecherous ways. Junhee wasn’t the first guy he’d thought about in an impure way, but he was the first one where the thoughts came with a flurry of strange feelings. 

He felt guilty for the perverted thoughts and fantasies, his mind’s eye conjuring up guilty images of Junhee in various states of undress and compromising situations. 

On his knees and— No.

Touching his— No. 

Foxlike eyes looking up at him while having his lips wrapped around Donghun’s— No.

His head tipped back, throat on display just begging to be bitten. Moaning so prettily when— No.

On top of Donghun, holding his wrists down against the mattress while he— No. 

Straddling Donghun’s hips and— No. 

But the thoughts he felt most guilty for were the seemingly more innocent ones. Wanting to hold him forever. Wanting to run his fingers through his hair. Wanting to hold hands with him all the time. Donghun was a young man deprived of sexual contact for too long, so he could forgive himself for dirty thoughts. The deeper feelings, whatever they were, felt like more of a betrayal. 

There was an aching warmth in his chest. Not that he’d ever dare to act on any thoughts or desires like these.

There was a heaviness that felt a whole lot like sadness as he nuzzled closer to his sleeping friend, imprinting on his mind how this closeness felt. 

Amongst the conflict in his head, he eventually drifted asleep.

Not for long, though. 

He woke up to find himself damp with sweat that wasn’t his own and acutely aware of how rapid Junhee’s breathing was. 

“Junhee?” He sat up and rolled Junhee onto his back a little roughly, trying to snap him out of it. “Junhee? Hey. It’s ok. I’m here, remember?” 

The blonde’s hands flew out to grab onto the front of Donghun’s shirt, clinging desperately to the fabric, whimpering. 

“Junhee. Just take slow, deep breaths. Ok? I’ve got you.” 

Junhee let out the most heart wrenching, desperate sob he’d ever heard. “ I just want t-to sleep like a normal person. Please…” He begged to the universe.

“It’ll be ok.” It was all Donghun could really think to say. It broke his heart to hear the desperation in the younger’s voice. He felt helpless, unable to protect him from the fear. Frustrated with himself almost to the point of tears. 

**-—Junhee—-**

Sleeping in Donghun’s bed had been helping him, in a way. He was able to calm himself faster when the other’s presence was there. And selfishly, he enjoyed the excuse for falling asleep wrapped up in his arms. 

But it didn’t stop the horrible visions from visiting him. 

And so, over the last couple of weeks, he’d taken to doing his best to not sleep. Starving himself of rest. As unsustainable as it was, it seemed like the only option at this point. 

It was gone midnight and Junhee still couldn’t bring himself to go to bed. Instead, he sat at their dining table, staring into the remnants of a cup of coffee. Counting down the minutes til sunrise. 

“You can’t just stay awake.” 

Junhee looked up to see Donghun sleepily perching himself on the chair opposite. He blinked slowly, his eyes burning a little from tiredness. 

“I don’t want to sleep.” The blonde mumbled. Or rather, he wanted to sleep. Desperately. He just didn’t want to experience the horror that came with sleeping. His eyelids felt so heavy. What he wouldn’t give to just… sleep without the nightmares. The visions. 

“Please, Junhee. You’re exhausted. Come to bed.” Donghun leaned over and placed a hand over his before it could reach again for the coffee cup. “This isn’t healthy.”

“Nothing helps.” 

“And you think forcing yourself to stay awake will? You know, sleep deprivation is considered a form of torture. I don’t like seeing you like this” Donghun curled his fingers around his hand and gently rubbed over his knuckles with his thumb. 

“The alternative isn’t much better.” Junhee took his hand back to stop the butterflies from growing out of control in his stomach. 

“I’m really worried about you, Junhee.”

“I’m sorry...” The last thing he wanted to do was to make anyone worry. 

“Please come to bed. I’ll help you to relax and maybe it’ll be better tonight. You said before that being stressed makes it worse.m, right?”

It was true. It was a downward spiral. Anxiety made him more likely to experience the sleep paralysis, but getting it made him more anxious and afraid to sleep. He knew he had to break the cycle, one good night could stop it for a long while. But it was easier said than done. He supposed he should take whatever help was offered to him, though. “Fine...”

Junhee allowed the older to lead him to their room. He tensed immediately as he stepped across the threshold, a kind of negative association building in his stomach, tying it in knots. 

“Come sit and I’ll give you a shoulder massage.” The older offered. 

Almost sheepishly, Junhee made his way to sit on Donghun’s bed and tightened up even further when the other settled himself behind him. It was a different kind of tension, though. Like the tension they’d gotten over after Donghun invited him to share his bed. 

“Unbutton you’re nightshirt a little for me.” He heard the voice from behind him instruct. 

Junhee swallowed hard and unbuttoned the soft cotton garment half way, not stopping it slipping off one shoulder. He closed his eyes, steeling himself for Donghun’s hands to touch him. It felt good to rest his heavy eyelids for a few moments, tenseness aside. 

“You’re so tense that your shoulders are almost up by your ears.” The older playfully scolded. 

Junhee accidentally let out an almost-sigh when he felt Donghun’s hands on his bare shoulders, sweeping the material further down his upper arms. So warm. Fingers started pressing into the muscles skilfully, meticulously unravelling him. Oh, the things those hands could probably do. 

It was ok for it to feel this good, right? It was a massage, it was supposed to feel good. He could feel the tension melting right out of his body. “Can you go a little lower?” He found himself asking without thinking. 

Just when he thought Donghun was going to question him, he felt arms encircling him to undo the rest of his buttons. Warm breath ghosted over the back of his neck. Junhee’s eyes slipped closed again as the fabric fell off him entirely. The coolness of the air made him shiver slightly but warm palms were soon on his back, thumbs pressing firmly around the edges of his shoulder blades. 

A sound between a groan and a gasp tumbled from his lips at first. Followed by minutes of near silence passed. Just the sounds of soft breaths escaping into the air as Junhee felt his skin steadily heating up and head becoming pleasantly fuzzy. 

Then there was a different feeling. Not hands, but a soft, warm dampness ever so gently brushed over his shoulder, near the nape of his neck. Lips. Lips and a light puff of breath. On instinct, he let his head fall to the side, inviting the lips to travel further over his skin. 

The lips did just what he coaxed them to do, trailing along his shoulder and back up to his neck again. Their touch so light that it was barely there. 

“Donghun...” He sighed out his name before he could even form a coherent thought about what was going on. He instantly regretted it when Donghun withdrew from him little. Junhee panicked that he’d broken the spell. 

“I’m sorry, I don’t know what I was thinking.” Donghun tried to apologise. 

Before the older could pull away even more, Junhee turned his head to capture eye contact. “Don’t stop.” He could still sense Donghun’s anxiety. So, he reached and tangled his fingers into his soft fluffy hair. He could practically hear the cogs turning in Donghun’s head, the expression on his face betraying the fact that his head was probably starting to run away with him. “Stop thinking, though.” 

Junhee guided their faces closer together. Although it was dark, he could see Donghun’s eyes wide and trained on his own. This was scary. A different kind of scary. They remained motionless for a few long moments, Junhee could feel the other’s breath against his lips. 

Neither dared to cross that line and close the space entirely. 

There would be no going back if they did. It would change things forever. It wouldn’t be a giggling peck on the cheek or a near-miss in a variety show game. It would be something impossible to ignore or hide. It would be bare and real and raw. Tangible and indelible. 

But Junhee wanted it more than anything he’d ever wanted in his life. To hell with consequences. Donghun probably wouldn’t be the one to take the running leap off the edge, though. So maybe it was up to Junhee. 

The blonde let his fingers slip free of wavy, light brown locks and he turned his body around so that he was sat kneeling between Donghun’s legs, facing him. Their gaze remained connected, still. Donghun nervously reached out and ghosted his fingertips along Junhee’s cheek and brought them to rest on his naked shoulder. The conflict was visible on the older’s face as his tongue flicked out to wet his plush lips. 

“No thinking.” Junhee reiterated. He took a shaking breath, trying to take his own advice as his eyes landed on those lips. Junhee had never kissed another guy before, not in any way that mattered. Not that the thought hadn’t crossed his mind from time to time, how could it not? Surrounded by such pretty boys with pretty lips. Donghun’s was the prettiest of them all but there was more to it than that. He didn’t just want to kiss him because of his soft, pouting lips. He wanted to kiss him because he was Donghun. Witty, kind, selfless Donghun who happily relinquished half of his bed to him and held him in a way that felt so right. 

“No thinking…” Donghun breathed, barely audible. 

Neither knew who crossed the distance first. It didn’t matter. Their lips barely brushed together at first, unsure and testing. They parted briefly before reconnecting more confidently, but still chaste. The younger couldn’t help but notice how the other’s lips were just as soft and pillowy as they looked. More butterfly kisses and slow, gentle movements. 

It wasn’t the rushed tongues and teeth Junhee had experienced in his life before. It was sweet and tentative but felt a whole lot more intimate. One hand had found it’s way back into Donghun’s hair and the other rested simply on his thigh. 

“I’ve never kissed a boy before.” Junhee admitted. 

“Neither have I. Kissing you feels like I’m having my first kiss, it never felt like this before.” Donghun bumped their foreheads together as they breathed each other’s air for a short while. This was new territory for them both. Heads giddy and unwilling to make any further confessions just yet. 

“I want it more.” Just a little more, Junhee whispered. 

Their lips met again. Tasting a little more this time but not quite brave enough to take a deeper taste. Cautious. Shy. Delicate. Curious. Exploratory. 

“Junhee…” Donghun pulled back a little, stroking up and down the blonde’s forearm tenderly. “Please try and get some sleep.” He moved his other head to cup the younger’s cheek, thumb grazing the dark circle under his left eye. “For me?” There was a worried crease between his eyebrows. Donghun always looked like he was going to cry when he was worried. 

“I...” Junhee tried to speak but it was like the butterflies were stuck in his throat. On the one hand, he wanted to stay awake so as not to lose this moment forever. On the other, his eyelids begged to slip closed. 

Donghun shifted a little and lay down, guiding the younger to lay down with him, half on top of him. “Listen to your hyung for once, ok?” Donghun’s voice was almost a whisper as he curled his fingers around Junhee’s hand and brought it to his lips, kissing over his knuckles like Junhee was the most precious thing in the world. 

It felt like a dream. A beautiful dream. Junhee just hoped it wouldn’t disappear by morning. 

“Donghun? Will _this_ still be here when we wake up?” Referring to this new, undefined closeness between them. 

“Yeah. Promise.” He placed a kiss to his wrist as a seal of a promise.

Junhee let himself be taken by sleep, relenting to his exhaustion. Awareness lingering on soft lips still against his knuckles and Donghun’s other hand drawling slow circles on his shoulder with warm fingertips. A warmth and tender intimacy he hadn’t felt before. 

. . . 

To Junhee’s relief, he woke slowly to the sunlight streaming in through the gap in the curtains. His hand was still held in Donghun’s and resting on the older’s chest. He squeezed gently and nuzzled his face against his shoulder, hiding his eyes from the light. 

It was calm. No sudden starts. No terror. No darkness. No tears or sweating. His heart wasn’t racing. 

“Morning.” He heard Donghun’s voice, a little rough from sleep. 

“Mmm.” Junhee hummed in response. They lay there a while longer until the sounds of the others getting up started to filter through the walls. Neither willing to move. 

“We should probably get up or we’ll be at the back of the queue for the bathroom.” Donghun eventually sighed, twisting a tuft of blonde hair playfully around his index finger. “Did you sleep well?”

Junhee rolled his upper body off him, aware of his leg still slung over Donghun’s but not motivated to move it. “I did.” He smiled. 

“Good.” Donghun beamed sleepily. “Is it ok if I...” He trailed off, eyes dropping to Junhee’s lips. 

Junhee responded with a kiss to the corner of his mouth. “I don’t know what this is but I don’t think I need to know right now. The only thing that’s important to me is that it feels right.” The confused feelings weren’t any less confusing when they were laid bare. But he didn’t mind taking his time to work them out. 

“I like you a lot more than I probably should.” Donghun confesses, eyes flicking down. 

“Hmmm you’re allowed to like me.” Junhee grinned, index finger propping Donghun’s chin up to look at him again. “Long as I’m allowed to like you, too.”

A loud knock came at the door and they both jumped, startled. “You two awake? We gotta go in like half an hour!” Came Sehyoon’s voice. 

“Yes! Coming!” Donghun yelled back, shifting to get up. 

“Hey.” Junhee stopped him for a moment. “Thank you for keeping me safe from my nightmares, hyung.” He smiled gently, pecking Donghun’s temple and making him blush.

**Author's Note:**

> There we have some DongJun softness! I hope you liked! Let me know what you think! :D


End file.
